5 ways to build better relationships

We are all social creatures and seldom do we live in isolation. Our entire being depends on the relationships that we have and the ones that we build - be it family, friends or colleagues. Even more challenging are building new relationships - forging new friendships, finding love or getting into a new family.

Given below are a few ways to build better relationships.

• Being present – Relationships take time and aren’t instantaneous. In this fast-paced life, we expect bonds to form right away and to be in instagrammable relationships the second we meet a person. Attachments aren’t formed in a minute and usually take a while to develop. Understanding another person takes time. So don’t be surprised if your feelings and opinions about them evolve. The secret to building a lasting relationship, is to be present - get to know a person, ask them questions about their life, beliefs, experiences. Be kind, but go deep. Start doing activities that you both enjoy together (watching Netflix doesn’t always count, unless you are communicating after).

• Understand the other person's love language – When I first read Gary Chapman’s The 5 love languages, I would look around my family and friends to understand what their love languages were. Some people thrive on words of affirmation while some feel loved when they receive gifts. The more you understand a person and their love language, the more you will be able to express it in the language that they value. For example, your girlfriend may appreciate the time you spend with her way more than any fancy gift that you get her, while your sister may treasure the watch you got her and you picking her up from the airport may not be high on her appreciation list.

• Understanding communication styles - Many a times, we assume that a person is not into us because they don’t call or constantly text. Very often it could be that two people have very different communication styles. This is even more difficult to understand in newer relationships and can get a bit confusing. The easiest way to understand this, is to ask the other person "What do you prefer?". There is nothing wrong in being vulnerable and asking for what you would want and expressing the way you would like to be communicated with. We are yet to master the act of mind-reading, and perhaps communicating our needs rather than assuming them would lead to a much more stress-free relationship.

• Appreciate the person - Every human has qualities that one can find admirable. While some relationships may be difficult, it becomes much easier when you look at the qualities you admire about the person. A lot of relationships have resentment built up because the person doesn't feel seen or heard. Most people love to feel appreciated and genuine appreciation goes a long way in building and strengthening relationships.

• Acceptance - Relationships are all about liking a person for who they are. Everyone is human and they do have their flaws- maybe they are messy, maybe their communication styles are different from what you are used to, maybe they are always late while you are stickler for time. See how their flaws make you feel and if it’s worth the unease and the feelings that come with it. What if you accept it and work around it? I am not saying that you must not express yourself, but accepting that people change when they want to and embracing them with their quirks and behaviors makes life a whole lot more enjoyable.

Which of these steps do you do in your current relationships? In what ways can you add more of it to build stronger bonds?